


Two Hours of Tay Squared

by Lucipang



Category: Salad Bowl
Genre: Aldi's, Banana addiction, Dr. Pepper - Freeform, F/F, I'm Sorry, Please Forgive me, PossibleBillionaire!MK, salad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:02:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27831952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucipang/pseuds/Lucipang
Summary: The bottle of Dr. Pepper in Tay's shocked hand fell to the floor, a geyser of carbonated cola shooting into the air before slapping loudly against the tiles. Tay stumbled backward in horror and Vaq finally followed her gaze back to the door.Standing in the doorway, blue haired, weary, standing in stained dungarees was---Tay?---Vaq's love was a lie.Dizz's life was a lie.Taygan was lost.
Relationships: Taylor/Dizz, Taylor/Taygan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	Two Hours of Tay Squared

The day had been long. Vaq collapsed onto the couch, fumbling with the can opener as she tried to open her beans. She did not have an ounce of energy left. A tender, charcoal smudged hand settled on her own. 

Tay had been peculiarly accepting of that art medium lately, Vaq noted. Vaq was about to thank her when the door crashed open. 

The bottle of Dr. Pepper in Tay's shocked hand fell to the floor, a geyser of carbonated cola shooting into the air before slapping loudly against the tiles. Tay stumbled backward in horror and Vaq finally followed her gaze back to the door.

Standing in the doorway, blue haired, weary, standing in stained dungarees was---

Tay?

"She's an impostor!" Tay 1 shrieked, clinging to Vaq's arm when she rose from the couch. "We should call for help!"

The new arrival dropped the bruised bunch of bananas in her hand to the ground with a soft thud. Tay 2 trembled with anger. She raised an accusing finger. 

"You replaced me?!" A slight waver snuck into her voice.

Vaq's gaze hardened as she looped a comforting arm around Tay 1's shoulders. 

"I don't know who you are, but this is the real Tay. So go back to where you came from, impostor, or I will make you." Unbeknownst to Vaq, a smug smile crept onto the face of Tay 1. 

"I left to get bananas-- I'm back now, Vaq, I don't know who this person is, but she's lying to you. It really is me," Tay 2 pleaded, falling to her knees, tears springing to her eyes. Vaq was at a loss for words at a moment before her face too flickered with anger, but this one quiet and dangerous. 

"I don't know who told you that. Yes, the real Tay left me. This Tay, the one standing with me now. She came back, as you can see. And even if she is an impostor, and you are the real Tay, then you left me not for two months, but two years," Vaq growled, face twisting into a snarl. The real Tay saw no traces of Vaq's pervy smile.

"I-- I... I'm sorry, Vaq," Tay 2 said, casting her gaze downwards in shame. A single tear trailed down her cheek as she clenched her fist. "I can't ask you to forgive me. There were no bananas in Aldi's. So I went to another store. And another. I can't ask you to forgive me for choosing the bananas over you."

"Vaq, don't be fooled by her. That's ridiculous, who could ever love bananas more than you?" Tay 1 said, tightening her grip on Vaq's arm. She tried to tug her back. "Come on, we're calling the police. This woman is insane."

Vaq did not budge.

Vaq stepped forward to exam the kneeling Tay 2 more closely. She bore a remarkable resemblance to Tay 1. Uncanny. For a moment, Vaq saw more familiarity in the bags under this person's eyes than she had seen in her wife's face since Tay 1 returned from the store. 

Tay 2 began to look up to meet her gaze, expecting to have to be satisfied with seeing her beloved wife's face for the last time. Before her eyes reached their destination, they spotted a bottle on the floor. The label read Dr. Pepper.

Tay 2 froze.

Tay 2 sniffed the air. Vaq furrowed her brows and sent Tay 2 a quizzical look. 

"You look confused," Vaq said, reaching out a steadying hand to Tay 2's shoulder. Tay ripped her eyes away from the bottle. 

"The label says Dr. Pepper, but that doesn't smell like Dr. Pepper..." Tay 2 mumbled. She scurried over to the bottle like a rat. Tay 1's eyes widened in horror and she dashed towards Tay 2 to stop her.

Tay 2 squeezed her eyes shut, fearing it was the end. 

She waited. 

And waited.

She creaked an eye open.

Vaq was standing over her, separating the Tay's. Tay 2's breath was taken away by the sight. It was like seeing Moses part the Red Sea. Her heart fluttered, but the wary gaze Vaq cast her over her shoulder reminded Tay 2 of the position she was in. 

She picked at the label on the bottle. It was difficult with her stubby fingernails. Eventually she was able to peel it free. Beneath, there was another label.

It read. 

Vimto.

Vaq's arms lowered. She was in shock. She snatched up the bottle and examined the label herself in disbelief. She turned towards Tay 1 slowly, the exhaustion of the day forgotten as she trembled slightly. 

Tay 2 wanted to comfort her wife, but she held herself back, hesitant. Was two years too long away? Was it still okay? Her eyes welled with tears at the distant memories of Vaq's buff arms encircling her as they lounged on the couch. Vaq would ramble about strange numbers. Tay would rant about charcoal.

"I-- I-- I'm being framed!" Tay 1 stammered, backing away. "Stay away!"

"You wouldn't hurt me, would you?" Tay 1 asked to test the waters. "I know you, Vaq, you would never hurt a fly." 

Tay 2 laughed. Vaq sent Tay 1 a weird look. Tay finally pushed herself to her feet. 

"Anything left to say in your defense, impostor?" Tay 2 said accusingly. "You stole my love, my life, so here's a free minute of my time. Why? Why did you do this?"

Tay 1 looked to the ground. She reached up to unclasp the strap of her own dungarees. They crumpled to the ground. Underneath was an Aldi's uniform, with the name Dizz upon the lapel.

Tay 2 gasped. Tay 1 smiled in a bittersweet way.

"You're--"

"The one who told you that Aldi's was out of bananas," Tay 1 finished for her.

"Ta-- Dizz," Vaq corrected herself. There was a wounded look in her eyes. "So it's true? You're not my sweet and lovely wife Tay?" This time it was Vaq who fell to her knees. Tay, the real Tay, rubbed comforting circles on Vaq's shoulders. 

"My love, my sweet, fret not for I have returned--" Tay attempted to lift Vaq's head so their eyes could meet. Vaq wrenched her chin away. "We'll get rid of this Dizz and everything will be fine--"

Vaq stood and pushed Tay away. Tay was sprawled on the floor in shock.

"No! It won't be fine! I'm alone with two strangers in my own home-- Unsure of the truth, unsure of anything. How will I ever trust again?" Vaq wailed in anguish in time with the grumbling of her stomach. "And I didn't even get to... I didn't even get to finish my beans." The beans from her can earlier were strewn around the floor, the bean juices slowly seeping into the carpet.

"Two strangers?" Tay echoed, swaying slightly in shock. "Why are you mourning your beans, Vaq, I'm here. Everything will be fine, we can work things out. You know me. I know you-- I love you, Vaq. We love each other, right?"

Dizz was skirting along the edges of the room in an attempt to reach the door. Vaq scrubbed her eyes with her fists before looking past Tay down the hallway of the small apartment. A bitter smile broke out on her face.

"Do you remember, Tay, what we spoke about on the night you left? Because I do. I'll never forget."

"I..." Tay trailed off. She searched her memories. It had been so long. All memories of that night were drowned out by the memory of craving Cavendish. "I can't... I don't remember, I'm sorry." Her face burned with shame. 

"You know how badly I wanted us to be a family, Tay," Vaq said, shaking her head. She ambled towards the fridge and took down a crude crayon drawing. 

Tay took a few tentative steps forward, craning her neck to see the thing that had stolen Vaq's attention away from her. 

"It would have been just us. Me, you, and our son Jones."

Tay stumbled backwards. Her head spun with the memory. 'No, no, no,' she thought to herself. That had all been a hallucination. It wasn't possible. Maybe what was happening now wasn't real either. Maybe in the real world, Vaq was waiting for her at home, truly alone, and was waiting faithfully for Tay to return.

Dizz had not made it to the exit. Vaq looked to the wallflower with a searching look before taking a step forward. Dizz was frozen with terror. Vaq's hand went into the air and Dizz squeezed her eyes shut. 

A soft hand caressed her cheek. It was Dizz's turn to creak an eye open.

"You may not be the real Tay, but you're the person I have spent the past two years of my life with. They've been happy years. You open my beans. You don't judge me for my thirst for homeless men. You don't even question my strangely detailed knowledge of vore." A smile cracked Vaq's face and a joyful tear sprung from her eye. Happiness and hurt were thick in her voice. "You even accepted my-- our son. What more could I ask for?"

The real Tay made a strangled noise.

"Tay stumbled into the Aldi's late one night. I was the only one working that shift. She was-- She was incoherent, demanding for bananas. I tried to tell her we were out, but she wouldn't listen. I kept trying to placate her, I am a mere slave to capitalism, what could I possibly do?" Dizz said tearfully. "So I gave her a Dr. Pepper in a desperate attempt to make her settle down."

Vaq inhaled sharply with a hissing sound. Exhaustion, Dr. Pepper, Tay-- Vaq knew exactly what would happen. Tay treated Dr. Pepper like 110 proof vodka. 

"Tay told me all about you. About the werewolves. About the hobos. About the vore. About your son. And my life, it was just so terrible-- Trudging on and on, day by day, battling complaining customers in every aisle. I was exhausted too," Dizz rambled. She cupped a hand around Vaq's, which still rested against her cheek. "I wanted to run away from my life-- And Tay, in her haze of desperation searching for bananas-- had left a pair of loving arms behind. I don't know what got into me that day, but it was the best decision I have ever made."

"Don't believe her, Vaq! How could you possibly choose her over me?! You think she's perfect?! She's not!" Tay yelled, rushing forward to desperately tug at Vaq's shoulder, trying to make her turn around, turn away from the life that she had led in Tay's absence. When Vaq ignored her, Tay felt her love running dry.

Tay's eyes caught those of Dizz. They were full of rage, cold, lethal. Her voice finally came out, soft, low, threatening. Dizz did not have it in her to attempt another escape. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and when it calmed, hints of the profound emptiness of working in the service industry showed for the first time in two years. 

There was something akin to that emptiness in Tay. The disbelief in the possibility of human decency, of happy endings. Of the infinite shift of nightmares and darkness ever ending. The death of the dream that one day, people would actually leave five minutes before closing time.

"Vaq's not perfect either, you know."

Dizz was startled when Vaq's hand abruptly slipped out from underneath her own as Vaq turned to face her former wife. Vaq narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Dizz looked at Vaq confused. 

What dangerous secret of Vaq's could Tay be holding, she wondered. The same thing that piqued Dizz's curiosity seemed to be causing Vaq a great deal of worry. The reality that Dizz's false marriage might truly fall to shambles did not register. Unknowingly, she had already steeled herself for the pain. 

Service workers were used to disappointment. 

Tay grinned cruelly. 

"I don't suppose Vaq told you about the janitor?"

"What janitor, Vaq?" Dizz questioned, her face morphing back into the impassive, dead inside mask of her former career. 

"My God, Tay, I told you it was just appreciation!" Vaq was too caught up defending herself to Tay to notice Dizz. This made Dizz's heart drop. "You judged me! You didn't believe me! Am I not allowed to appreciate them? Dizz, can you believe Tay, she has no regard for service workers like you. How long would you last, Tay? Running on no sleep, drawing your free time away, trying to fuel two hopeless addictions? Bananas and Dr. Pepper didn't ruin you. Dizz did not ruin what we had. You did."

When Vaq finally spit out the last word, the silence hit hard. The sound of muffled crying split the silence. Dizz pushed herself away from the way instinctively, already heading towards the hallway. She recognized the sound of Jones crying.

"Well, well, well, look at you, still serving," Tay said, turning her taunts towards Dizz. "You served Vaq her beans, and even that abomination has you coming when called. Apparently a lullaby is needed on aisle seven, go along."

"Don't let her treat you that way, Dizz. I'll get her out of here. You and I can work things out. But there's no room left for her in my heart," Vaq reassured Dizz, starting towards Tay. Tay laughed. Dizz hovered about, Jones' cries tugging her one way and Tay's bait dangling in the other. 

"'Don't let her treat you that way,' are you deaf, Dizz? You're letting Vaq speak for you? Trust me, she's a genius STEM student, but sometimes her brain runs out of bean juice mid sentence," Tay jeered. "Dizz. That's a weird name to put on an Aldi's name tag, isn't it?"

Dizz's hand darted up to the name card on her chest self consciously. She closed a hand around it, the hard plastic edges digging into her palm. 

She wasn't sure what came over her. 

The next thing she knew, the name card was clattering on the floor.

"I'm not here to serve either of you. To entertain you. What right do you have to shame me for taking care of my son? Do you regret it, Tay? Are you confused by the soft look that comes on Vaq's face when she hears the cries of the child you call a monster? It's called love, Tay. Perhaps you couldn't understand why Vaq would appreciate janitors when you couldn't even appreciate your own wife," Dizz said cooly, hoping Tay's heart twinged as if stabbed by a twisting blade. "I'm not an Aldi's worker anymore. I left that life behind. Now I do what I want. Just like you did what you wanted, when you abandoned Vaq two years ago."

Vaq looked to Dizz and took a step forward. 

Dizz raised a hand to stop her.

"Vaq, it didn't work out with Tay the Banana Seeker. It hasn't been working out with Dizz the Aldi's Worker. Perhaps its time we part ways. I still want to share our time with Jones, to love him, to raise him... But I there are still things I need to figure out for myself. For my future. I threw yourself into your arms searching for freedom. I just chose another prison instead--"

Vaq pushed closer. Her shoulder pressed into Dizz's hand, warm and muscular. Vaq's breath tickled her cheek and Dizz blushed scarlet. Vaq dropped her head to whisper something low and gravel-ly into Dizz's ear.

"Move out of the way, you're standing in front of my beans."

A heavy silence fell over the broken home. They each collected themselves. Dizz saw to Jones. Tay took a shower and stopped smelling like a long wandering, banana craving vagrant. Vaq finally cracked open another can of beans and settled in her recliner to watch some Animaniacs. 

"I hope you don't mind if I keep this as a parting gift?" Dizz had emerged from the hallway, a heavy suitcase bouncing against her side, she slapped a hand against it with the intent to flash a smile like a cheeky cars salesman. It died before it could surface. "I guess I'll be goin--" 

The tail end got caught in her throat. She swallowed hard. Vaq did not look away from the Animaniacs. Dizz was being overlooked, just like back then. This was definitely not a good start for her new life. 

But then Vaq paused the Animaniacs. 

Vaq set aside her beans. 

She stalked towards Dizz.

Then Vaq opened the door, slapping a hastily scribbled crayon sign on it in the process. It looked to be written on the back of the family portrait.

Werewolves welcome. Freeloaders are not. If you are a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist please knock to be given interview details. 

Dizz's heart was crushed like an empty bean can between Vaq's formidable pecs at the gym. Vaq nodded at her to leave. Dizz, in her hurry, felt the suitcase run over something bulky. The bunch of bananas oozed on the floor. Bruised, broken, smashed. Dizz shoved the guilt deep down. 

Vaq mumbled something that sounded like, "Homelessness is a good look on you," before the door clicked shut.

The door opened again five minutes later and Tay walked out in shame. She slid down to the floor with her back against the wall. Dizz pocketed her phone. She had 15 minutes left before her Uber would arrive. 

"Moving on to greener pastures, eh?" Tay said. "I wish I had a Dr. Pepp--"

She never finished that thought. Dizz picked up where Tay left off to avoid the silence. 

"Yup. I just got an email. Apparently Macy's is hiring," Dizz offered up. Tay chuckled darkly. 

"Was that speech for nothing?"

"Nope. I just need some work experience after two years," Dizz said in a half lie. She was scared. She was scared of the uncertainty of her future. She was so used to settling it seemed natural to her. Outside of Vaq's home and loving hold, her ability to dream had already begun to die. 

Tay headed towards the elevator. A card fluttered to the ground in her wake. Dizz reached down to pick it up to return it to Tay, scolding herself a half second too late for returning to her old habits.

Tay waved through the closing doors. 

It was a business card for the Kaptein's Bar. Scrawled on it in cheap pen were the words "Tell him Tay sent you for the management job."

That was the last ounce of Tay's good will spent. Dizz's phone buzzed. The Uber had arrived. She dashed towards the elevator. She too got the chance to peer through the closing doors.

A person with bright green hair had sidled up to Vaq's front door. Dizz pretended not to see. She did not need to know.

Vaq pulled out a cake from the fridge. On top of it was a cheery number candle over the delicate piping of the name Jones.

Tay warmed her hands in the pocket of her dungarees, browsing the shelves of a small little shop just across the street. A basket of bananas was by the register. She picked on up and asked the cashier for the price.

At the same time, Dizz's eyes were fixated on the orange glow of the elevator buttons as each floor was passed. There went the 4th floor. There went the 3rd.

"Oh, the bananas?" the cashier echoed. "Those cost about 2 bucks."

The 2nd floor button glowed orange like an eerie autumn moon. 

An orange flame flickered to life on the wick of a candle in the shape of a 2. 

Exactly two years from the night it all started, the night Tay had left for bananas, two women, Dizz and Tay, made a vow that they would one day return, and perhaps, just maybe, they would find their old love again.

Jones blew out the candle.

Tay put down the banana. 

The elevator doors opened. 

And MK knocked on Vaq's door.

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me.


End file.
